A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize