We won't sleep together?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
