At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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