We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize