I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
