Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
