can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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