Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
