He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
