Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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