I think my vagina is haunted
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
