so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
