Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
