he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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