Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
