scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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