forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
