We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
