Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize