No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
