Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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