he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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