Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
