Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
