i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
