is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
