Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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