Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
