Your dad touched me again.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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