i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
