yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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