Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
