How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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