ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
