Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
