A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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