Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
