Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
