Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
