Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
