dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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