I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
