I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
