I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
