i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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