somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
