I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
