Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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