hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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