I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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