how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
