Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
