Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
