he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can I color on your dick again?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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