if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am one with the molecules
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
