Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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