Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
