i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
