so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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