i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
