the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
