Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We need to rekindle our bromance
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
