ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish life had little blips of pornography
zippers are such a cool invention
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
