Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize