You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
