could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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