im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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