Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
