After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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