Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
